it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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