Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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