Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
