Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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