Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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