So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
