she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
