Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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