dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize