I need help removing her.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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