he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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