is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
