That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
