my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
