I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
