Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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