I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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