Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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