Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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