How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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