is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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