Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
