I think I won the penis lottery.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize