My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
