Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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