Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
this is jacob
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.