Umm I'm too high to move.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
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It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
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did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?