Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?