Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo