I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
