There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
