the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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