Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
