carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
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THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
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You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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