are you so shy because you have an std?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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