well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
