I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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