when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize