we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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