Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
