Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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