whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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