My friends, they love my intelligence
My first STD was from a foam party
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
