I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
i think my cat just said my name.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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