Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
