I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
