i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
