Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
