your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
