the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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