Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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