You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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