Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
being pregnant is like rehab
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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