She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
