So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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