can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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