How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
