Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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