I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
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While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
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He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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