you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
