Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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