Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
