woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
